You will never guess what horrible things happened to me this week! The short one found a slug, yes a slimy brown slug, in the bathroom. So what does she do with it? She KEPT it. She put it in the shower, shut the glass doors, and told Charlie they were going to make a cage for it. Why would she keep it? It was slimy and oozed goo, leaving a trail whereever it went.
That night I was peacefully sleeping when I awoke to the feelinf of something slimy slithering over my little foot. It was that horrible slug! I am sure the thing was a vampire attempting to suck out my piggy blood, so I jumped up and ran for a clove of garlic. When I returned the short one had found her slug and put it back in the shower where it sat, taunting me.
All the next day it was a good slug, but then night came. I woke up to the feeling of the slimy little thing crawling on my ear! I was ready for it and waved the garlic in it's little vampire face, but it had no effect! The thing must have been a super vampire slug! I grabbed the slimy little thing and leaning out the screenless window threw it as hard as I could. I doubt that this hurt the slug at all, but it is gone now, and hopefully will stay gone.
The next day (21st) the short one found her slug missing has been moaning and groaning about it the last two days. Does she appreciate that the thing was an evil super vampire slug who might have sucked her dry in her sleep? No, of course she doesn't! I wrote bubbles about the slug, but I did not tell him that it was a vampire, I think he would worry if he knew the daily dangers I face here.
Till next time,
O
P.S. if you live in Missouri I suggest you keep a box of toothpicks by your bed, I think they would make handy little super-vampire-slug-killing-stakes. If you are extremely worried about the vampire problem (after all, vampires are not just limited to being slugs) then I suggest you check this out, it is an authentic Vampire killing kit from the 1800's. Click on the name below to go right ot it! vampire killing kit |
